Humility - What's Inside? - March 14, 2007 If pride is a common and dangerous vice, then humility is the remedy or corresponding virtue. How does one practice the virtue of humility? And can one practice it without committing the opposite vice and become prideful about it?

Sometimes we think that humility requires poverty or a low station in life--cleaning bathrooms or a trash collector. Lest you think I'm knocking those jobs, both my mother and I have both been cleaning women--she for many more years than my summer or student jobs. My husband is a blue collar worker. But humility really has little to do with one's job or social class or wealth or lack of it. A humble person has no hint of condemning others in their life or spirit. That probably knocks most of us out of the line up for a "humble prize." (Although, most of us have eaten humble pie often enough that we could line up for that prize.)

It is almost impossible to judge humility from the outside. Only as individuals do we know what goes on in our minds as we relate to and meet other people. Another way of putting it is, a humble person puts the needs of others first. Unfortunately, this is difficult for most of us. We have been around the block and know that no one, ultimately, will look out for us. We have to be prepared to work for what we get. Neither is it good to be a doormat--used by others, never standing up for ourselves. So how can we balance that with also putting the needs of others first? There are lots of fine lines here.

Perhaps St. Paul puts it in good perspective as he writes in his book in the New Testament to his friends at Philippi, "Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3). Even Paul recognizes this dual need: to look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.

I'm always bemused by people who like to be last for dinner at a buffet or potluck meal where one has to stand in line. At first glance it appears to be a very humble move--but it too can be a source of pride! As the men at the back of the potluck shuffle around trying to be last, they actually draw more attention to themselves then if they'd just go ahead and get in line. Not to pick on anyone!

And what about the front of the line? No one wants to be first in line for the food, maybe because of false humility. Not wanting to look like a pig. (Children of course have no qualms about lining up first.) And so people hem and haw about not getting in line first, holding up the whole process, when it would expedite things if someone just quietly went ahead and got in line.

So humility, as we have seen, is not easy to determine. It is a matter of the heart, not what appears on the outside. Since I already confessed in my last column that pride is a problem for me, obviously I'm not standing in line for the humility prize.

In wrapping up this special series on Vices and Virtues, perhaps you'll also appreciate this "Humility Prayer," which I found through a link at the website of blues singer Michael Powers, but I assume with an unknown author:

God, I am far too often influenced by what others think of me. I am always pretending to be either richer or smarter or nicer than I really am. Please prevent me from trying to attract attention. Don't let me gloat over praise on one hand or be discouraged by criticism on the other. Nor let me waste time weaving imaginary situations in which the most heroic, charming, witty person present is myself. Show me how to be humble of heart, like you. Amen.

Contributed by Melodie Davis: MelodieD@MennoMedia.org Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way - Daily Wisdom  ¶ 10:33 PM